Trust – The Foundation of a Leader’s Influence
December 12th, 2008 by David Utts
We all know that trust is foundational to creating and maintaining any high value relationship. If a leader is to wield any level of influence with the board, direct reports, peers, etc – it is essential. When shared trust is experienced:
- Overall performance is enhanced.
- Innovation and problem solving becomes faster because we are more open with each other.
- Approach to conflict is healthier.
- Learning and forgiveness take precedence over being right and blaming – thus further deepening trust.
Yet, strengthening trust – especially when we feel trust is not at the level it needs to be is not easy for a couple of reasons.
First, the perception of having trust is not based in facts – it is based in the perceptions of both parties. In addition, trust is a very broad term so it is hard to come to a common meaning around what trust really means in our relationships. It is usually not something we speak about directly – especially when trust has broken down. Finally, we find ourselves in a time when trust in corporations and institutions is being tested. Therefore it is critical to repair the distrust that many have for organizations. More than ever, executive leaders must revisit what must be done to reinforce the trust in their existing relationships and to develop it against a backdrop of growing cultural distrust.
The goal of this entry is to provide you with a clear definition of trust that will support you in being more proactive at building trust in your key relationships. I will continue to add to this understanding and provide additional insights around influence and relationship management in future entries.
The graphic below illustrates the four elements of trust followed by a further explanation of each element.
- Authority involves generating the experience in another that you have the gravitas, capabilities and experience to add value. In business, most people seeking to build a relationship with us are initially looking both for confident presence as well as strong experience and competence. Yet, while authority is a powerful element of building trust – we all know too well that our confidence and technical savvy alone are not enough to maintain trust over time and if we rely on this issue of credibility too much it can actually injure trust.
- Authenticity is generating the experience in the other that what we do and say are consistent with what we think. In short, we are viewed as being congruent in our thoughts, words and actions. There are no hidden agendas, omissions or double meanings. It also means when we say we are interested in partnership – we truly are.
- Understanding involves generating the experience that you have listened and demonstrated that you value what is most important to the other. In addition, you demonstrate your desire to co-design solutions that supports mutually important outcomes. Far too often we hear that we must listen better yet the primary reason for listening is to truly understand another’s point of view. The willingness to stay present when conflicting views are presented and further to integrate those views into the development of a solution is the first step in generating mutual value. We take the next step when we begin to establish commitments with each other.
- Reliability means that we manage our promises well. If we have generated mutual value through our commitments – reliability proves the initial level of trust given and reinforces it. When we are reliable we are seen as someone who follows through on their promises and/or we provide enough notice if we have to change our commitment
Application of the Trust Model
Building Trust in a New Relationship
To build and maintain trust we must attend to all four elements. If we are building a new relationship the first elements tested are usually our credibility and our ability to generate mutual value through our interactions. These are quickly followed by how others view our ability to be authentic in our expression. The more these three elements are in place the more likely it is that we will generate mutually valuable commitments and deepen the relationship over time. If you are seeking to generate an initial level of trust and/or you have a desire to enhance trust in a current relationship that is in pretty good shape – you might consider the following questions:
- What does the other need to know from me about my competencies and experience to feel comfortable moving forward?
- How do I ensure I come across with a confident (not arrogant) presence?
- What do I have to do to remain curious and ask the right questions to understand their desired results and concern
Repairing Trust
Trust is easier to maintain than to get back if you lose it. Yet if you find yourself in a situation where trust appears to be broken at some level then you need to examine these elements so that you can engage our in a dialogue that begins to address where trust might be broken and what commitments you might be able to make to build the trust back. If you find yourself in a situation that requires you to repair or rebuild trust – ask yourself the following questions:
- Looking at this relationship, how would I measure each of the trust elements (authority, authenticity, understanding and reliability) – on a scale from 1 to 10 for myself?
- How do I think the other person would measure each element?
- Depending on which element is most off – what can I do to improve the score for myself or the other person? (answering this question will likely require a conversation with the other person).
If trust is damaged to the point a conversation is not possible and the relationship is important to us – sometimes the only thing we can do is focus on better understanding the other person’s most important issues and working to bring our best to generate outcomes that add greater value. If we are able to start improving our value creation – it is likely opportunities will emerge to have the necessary conversations to repair the trust that has deteriorated.
A Word of Caution
Most of us enjoy connecting with those who are like us in some way. Trust is formed based on our judgments of others – when we meet others who are different from us or who have a different style from us we tend to misjudge their intentions. Have you ever had an experience after meeting someone new that you walked away with the sense “I have to keep my eye on him or her – there is something I don’t trust about him or her?” Then over time you not only realized they were worthy of your trust – they became a good friend and/or colleague. Yet, there may have been others that you just never connected to and never developed any trust with – all because of your initial assessment. Again, the questions you have to ask yourself are:
- Were they really incongruent with the elements of trust?
- Do I know what is most important to them and understand what their intentions are for our relationship?
- Do we merely approach things differently and I have formed my opinion based on this?
I am not saying here that initial gut feels have no merit. However, making an extra effort to challenge our gut is essential to not making errors in judgment. In my experience coaching hundreds of senior executives, I have found that many relationships that they report as “dysfunctional” were based on style clashes more than real issues of trust. Once the executive refocused on the value of the relationship and was willing to open back up to exploring the other person’s intentions – in most cases the relationship and ensuing productivity in that relationship vastly improve. It is not always this easy yet when we are not looking hard at our judgments and challenging them – they can get in the way of greater performance, profitability and personal fulfillment.
In conclusion, if we have the desire to build high value client relationships and build a high performing culture that manifests greater shareholder value – then we must begin to be more conscious in how we are developing and maintaining trust. This means we must have a methodology to better assess trust in relationships and be able to develop strategies to proactively strengthen it.
© 2008 Executive Skillworks, Inc.
