As an executive, how much of your day is taken up by conversations?  Most executives I work with say that they spend at least 75% of their time engaged in conversations with clients, direct reports, peers, superiors and others.   When I follow up this conversation with another – what percentage of those interactions create real value? I usually get an astonishingly low percentage around the effectiveness of their conversations (some where between 10 and 30%).  In my work with senior executives we focus on increasing this percentage to a much higher level.  I start this process by helping the executive to integrate three fundamental laws for effective conversations into their mindset.

Law # 1:  Every Conversation You Have is Important

It is only human to hold greater value on some conversations than others.  For most organizations, the conversations pertaining to sales and client delivery are critical and I of course agree!  That being said, organizations can be viewed as being a network of conversations and given that we come to understand that every interaction in this network ultimately links back to the results we achieve.   Also, we really can only have one conversation at a time and that is the one we are having NOW.  Yet, how many times are we preoccupied with a previous interaction or an impending one that seems to have more weight than the one we are engaging in at the moment?  When we are preoccupied in this way we are limiting the value we generate as a leader.  Therefore the first question we must answer to improve the quality of our interactions is:

• What has to happen for me to stay focused in the moment – so that I can create value for the individual(s) in front of me in that moment?

Law #2: High Value Conversations are Outcome Focused

A number of years ago I was very fortunate to be coaching a stellar CIO of a small financial services company.  During our time together the CIO’s company was bought by a Fortune 50 organization and I was pleasantly surprised when my client was selected to serve as the CIO for the new organization.  In one of his first senior team meetings the conversation amongst the executives seemed to be meandering.  My client was not clear on the ultimate objective.  Being new to the team he was trying to do his best to listen and learn prior to giving a lot of input yet in this case he had to speak up and say “Hey I know I am new to the team here and I may be missing something yet can I ask what are I trying to accomplish today in this meeting?”  There was a stunned silence and a recognition there was no clear framing for an outcome let alone an agenda.  Our client’s comments galvanized clarity and allowed the conversation to get on a value added track.

A simple, powerful and far too often overlooked question that must be answered to create value in our interactions is:

• What is the most important outcome(s) for this conversation/meeting and what agenda must we cover in order to achieve that outcome?
• What do I need to do to generate alignment around the outcome(s) and agenda?
  

Law #3:  There Are Two Fundamental Outcomes for Every Conversation We Have – A Business Outcome and A Relationship Outcome

Most times the outcome we are most focused on in our daily conversations are the desired business result and/or the resolution of some business issue.  This is clearly one of the two fundamental outcomes we need to clarify and focus on to forward action.  Yet, there is another one that is many times either overlooked or undervalued – which is how is this conversation enhancing the relations

We all know the value of relationships in business.  Relationships are foundational in the fulfillment of your mission, vision and priorities.  Most executives I speak to will acknowledge the importance of relationships yet seem to be challenged around “finding the time” to improve relationships.  Certainly there are things we can do to be more proactive in strengthening our relationships (e.g. do more networking, be strategic in how I reach out, getting clients out socially, etc.) and being more proactive can take more time. Yet, strengthening our relationships does not take any more time when we realize that every conversation we have provides a context for deepening trust and generating more value for ourselves and others.  Therefore when you consider the outcome you desire for your interactions I suggest you consider the following questions:

• How do I view this relationship and how can I forward that through my interactions?
• When and where do I already have natural touch points that provide me with opportunities to forward what is important for the relationship?
  
• How can I approach those natural touch points more strategically in order to strengthen this relationship?
  

Conclusion

If these principles resonate for you I strongly recommend you consider the questions prior to key conversations you are having.  Once you are clear on the outcome – hold a strong intention for that outcome and do your best to remain focused in that moment on your intention.  Also, the essence of every business conversation is about forwarding a mutally valuable result.  Therefore it is crtical that at the outset for every interaction we understand what others are seeking from the interaction and that we take the time to align on a focus and agenda for the conversation.  For most of my clients, these simple principles and questions revolutionize the way they approach conversations as well as providing a means for them to continuously improve their ability to deepend value and trust.

Tags: Deepening Your Influence, Improving Productivity, Power of Conversation

This entry was posted on Monday, May 11th, 2009 at 3:07 pm and is filed under Executive Engagement, Interpersonal Engagement, Leadership Development, Strategic Engagement. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.