Today we say farwell to “The King of Pop.”  Whether you believe that Michael Jackson’s death and life is receiving its due or feel that the coverage of this is overkill – Michael is teaching all of us two powerful and highly related lessons. First, as the founder of Motown, Berry Gordy, said during his speech at Michael’s memorial service “Michael was like two people.  Off stage he was shy and unassuming. Yet when he took stage and performed for his fans he was fully in charge, a true master.”  Few would discount Michael’s genius on stage and few would deny that his end came as a result of him losing the battle with his inner demons.  And both of these sides of Michael provide lessons to all of us trying to make a bigger impact in life.

His first lesson is really about how to embrace one’s passion and purpose.  The second lesson is illustrative of what happens when we lose touch with them.  As with many, I have revisited Michael’s work – his music and videos.  I admit I have been a fan of his artistry yet as I watched his performances recently I saw something that I missed before.  As I watched I could clearly see that the Michael on stage seemed at peace, free, and in charge!  He was in his element and his greatness beamed forth.  I encourage to go back and watch him in this light – I guarantee you will see it too.  Listening to his music  – you can also sense there was a purpose in it. Let’s take a look at a few lines in “Man in the Mirror”

I’m Starting With The Man In The Mirror
I’m Asking Him To Change His Ways
And No Message Could Have Been Any Clearer
If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place
(If You Wanna Make The World A Better Place)
Take A Look At Yourself, And Then Make A Change

Michael Jackson – Lyrics from “Man in the Mirror”

Michael’s struggle to follow these words was clearly cut short.  Given his life – devoid of childhood, overwhelmed by fame, full of bad choices – he had a lot to overcome.  Yet, Michael, like us, was human and while he had his challenges – we are all the same in that we all have our own demons and struggles.

While I am saddened by what seems like a premature death – there is a second lesson that is equally clear.  When we are not true to ourselves, lack crystal clarity around our purpose, and are unwilling to do anything to uplift ourselves to authentically deliver on this purpose -  Life can feel like we are struggling through a fog – trying to find our way.  Without purpose – it does not matter how much talent we have, how high our IQ is, or how wealthy we are – we are lost.

Michael Jackson had tremendous resources at his disposal.  He had access to life’s greatest teachers and coaches yet he still struggled.  I can not say how Michael took advantage of them – if at all.  Equally, we can not say what would have happened if Michael approached his self-care with as much passion and purpose as his work.  Yet, it seems clear that Michael’s legal struggles drained him.  The video of him showing up sick at trial one day in his pajamas – leaning on his attorney as he walked in – was a sad moment.  You could see that Michael was lost and devastated by the judgment coming his way.  Few would have been able to not have been impacted by such scrutiny and the truth is we all have moments in life when we face the edges of our capacity to cope.  Counter to this – the video of his rehearsal for his upcoming world tour taken the day before his death – showed a man back in his element and passion.

I am the first to admit – I have no clue what was going on inside Michael and what he was doing to reconnect with something deeper inside himself.  Yet, what I do know is on one level this king was facing the human experience in a very intense way.  With all that talent – there was clearly tremendous suffering going on and it seems he lost his rudder in it all.  Maybe his come back tour was a way to reconnect to his soul – yet his demons would not have it.

There are really two ways to deal with suffering.  The first one is to go into a deep experience of resentment, resignation, feeling misunderstood, that life is treating you unfair, etc.  While this is the easier path – it eats us up – mainly because we disempower ourselves and give too much credence to outside forces and our inner self-talk.  The second way to deal with such suffering comes from our willingness to be with the struggle, make friends with it and understand how our relationship with it can strengthen us as well as help others.  This one is a much tougher journey but one that breaths life back into us and unlike the first approach this path strengthens us from the inside out.  The later is driven from passion – the former from a sense that something outside us will save us.

Many with powerful talent and/or tremendous power have taught us this lesson.  I am the first to admit I don’t know what it’s like to be in the spot light – where at times there is no where to hide. It may take even more strength to overcome this challenge yet there are many other cases when digging deep has resulted in great breakthroughs and rebirths.  There are countless stories of people overcoming addiction, dire life circumstances, illness, and the loss of everything to rise to a new level of awareness and impact.  Many express similar principles that helped them to regain their inner strength and have a positive impact on themselves and others.  Here are just a few:

Victor Frankl – who found joy and gratitude during his time in a concentration camp and who became very successful as a psychologist and writer after he left those dire circumstances.

Lance Armstrong, who went from rising cycling star, to victim of testicular cancer, to record 7-time winner of the Tour De France and there may be more given he is back.

Nelson Mandela, who survived 27 years in prison and years of struggle to lead the end of aparteid and became South Africa’s first black president.

Robert Kiyosaki, who became rich, lost the lot, and ended up sleeping in his car before emerging to write Rich Dad, Poor Dad and building an information publishing empire.

Michael Oher who was recently drafted by the Baltimore Ravens of the NFL after rising from homelessness. He is the subject of Michael Lewis’s 2006 book, The Blind Side: Evolution of a Game, and a movie entitled The Blind Side, scheduled to be released in November 2009.

Now those listed who are still living may yet face other challenges and it is possible they may fall prey to them as Michael did.  Yet, Michael’s gift beyond his musical legacy is the story of his humanity and what happens when we don’t leverage everything we have available to us to transmute both the darkness and light that is within us to strenghten ourselves and support others to do the same around us.  To leverage this support – we must ask and be open to it.  To be sure many tried to come to Michael’s aid but you must be willing to ask for the support and know what result you are seeking from accepting it.

Ultimately, this is part of the journey to leadership and why it is important not to get mesmerized by the position but rather to embrace it as an opportunity to engage it through a deeper purpose.

“Few will have the greatness to bend history itself; but each of us can work to change a small portion of events, and in the total of all those acts will be written the history of this generation.”

Robert F. Kennedy

Many of us wished Michael would have found a way to tap this power.  It was there with him on stage – the question is was it clear to him off stage?  This is in no way a judgment of him – many people stronger have succumbed as well.  Yet, some questions emerge from Michael’s death that are essential questions for us all to answer:

1. How deeply have you thought about your purpose for being and what your are most passionate about?
2. Once you are clear – what are you going to do about it?
3. As you face your own demons and darkness – especially those things that seem to hold you back from expressing your purpose and passion – can you embrace them while allowing those demons to be transmuted in order to support our passion and purpose?
4. What are you willing to do to forward your purpose each day?
5. Are you willing to ask for help so that we can more fully embrace our greatness and forward what is most important?  If the answer is yes – can you fully accept that help?

We find ourselves in a time that is calling for more passion and purpose.  The more people that tap into it the better.  Because there is nothing more powerful than these to transform ourselves and the world around us.  It takes in Michael’s words the willingness to “Take a look at ourselves and make a change.”  That’s because we don’t change for the sake of change – we change when we are compelled to because something more powerful than our weaknesses calls us forward.

In closing – I want to express my gratitude for Michael.  Thank you for all you gave through your talent as well as for what you taught us through your life – both the triumphs and struggles. You were one of the greatest entertainers ever to live and that is your legacy.  Yet, I also hope all of us can embrace your humanity for what it taught us about our own light and the darkness.

Tags: befriending our darkness, Life Lessons, Michael Jackson, Passion, Purpose

This entry was posted on Tuesday, July 7th, 2009 at 2:24 pm and is filed under Interpersonal Engagement, Leadership Development, Personal Engagement, Trends. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.